Category: Uncategorized

blvnk-art:

First Auror Potter I have ever painted was on his birthday, July 31st, in 2016, and it’s the first of this collection. I think that’s why I started to think of him as an +20 yo auror. Somehow, it’s like he’s growing with me in real time. My vision of Harry Potter has matured over the years. He’s no longer a young boy in my mind as I’m no longer a child or teenager. What motivates me is to think he’s got wiser and more serious and all shit he’s been through since he was a kid made him even more sarcastic then he was. “No need to call me sir, professor” would turn into something like “You need to call me sir”.

For more bearded/auror Harry, see this tag 🙂

thatdiabolicalfeminist:

One maladaptive coping mechanism that turns very toxic when you’re
not defending against abuse is to read any uncomfortable situation as a
deliberate personal attack, and sometimes extrapolate one incident into a
whole pattern of malicious intent.

Examples:

  • “Hey, I have a headache, could you please lower your voice a little?”
    – “FINE I guess I just won’t say anything at all!”
  • “Hey thanks for inviting me, but I’m not feeling well, so I’m sorry but I can’t make it. Maybe (x day) instead?”
    – “Sorry for asking! I guess I’m just too needy for you!”
  • (Someone forgets to call you back.)
    – “Yeah I don’t think we’re friends anymore, she acts like she hates me.”
  • “Hey, what you just said about me was literally not true. Why did you say that?”
    – “Right, I’m just a piece of shit who should never talk at all I guess!”
  • “I don’t really feel like sex tonight.”
    – “Sorry I’m so repulsive to you!”
  • “You really hurt my feelings. Why did you do that?”
    – ”Go ahead and just break up with me, I know you’ve been wanting to.”

This kind of response escalates an interaction from a two-way conversation about a specific problem into a fight about your own self-worth. Instead of reponding to what’s actually happening or interrogating whether an attack was intended, this response immediately changes the conversation into a defensive argument where the only relevant question is if you’re an okay person that people care about.

Like I get feeling this
kind of reaction, I get having a knee-jerk response of fear and shame
and self-loathing. Sometimes when you’re feeling vulnerable it is very,
very difficult not to read super far into anything negative. Sometimes
it just reflects off all your internal fears and amplifies inside of you
until a polite “no” feels like everyone you’ve ever liked is telling
you they hate you.

But it is possible, with some work, to
separate your feelings from your actual knowledge of the situation. It’s
possible to feel one thing in your heart and still recognize with your
mind that the reality is different. You can learn to notice the
difference between someone actually attacking you and something just
feeling like an attack because you’re extra vulnerable.

You
can also learn not to react based solely on your feelings. You can learn
to take another person’s actual words and actions into account and
respond based on what you think – not just feel – their intent actually was. That work is
as necessary as it is difficult.  

People need to be able to tell
you things that aren’t overwhelmingly positive without you making them
feel guilty for saying anything and treating their concerns as an
attack.

Otherwise, you wind up in a position where they can’t be honest with you. They can’t say no to you, can’t tell you when something you do hurts or scares them, can’t point out worrying things as
friends do to take care of each other, can’t bring up their own needs without the conversation devolving into comforting you again.

This habit interacts especially badly with
the way many other trauma survivors are terrified of upsetting anyone –
when your reaction to them bringing up problems or saying no is consistently disproportionate, they may
find it easier to just do what you want even against their own will.

It is possible to deal with those awful feelings and get the comfort you need without resorting to lashing out when you feel bad. It’s okay to be honest about the fact your emotions don’t always line up with reality so people know what you’re going through. It’s okay to just ask for the emotional support you need or for confirmation that they mean what they say.

You may even find that when you make a continuous effort not to treat these uncomfortable experiences as crises, they deescalate and you wind up feeling more secure each time.

Look, this coping mechanism, like many forms of manipulation, is a useful survival tool in the context of an abusive relationship where you really are being attacked insidiously, and where you can’t just ask for comfort and expect to get it. But if you are no longer in that kind of situation, it’s time to reevaluate the usefulness/danger ratio and figure out what other strategies might be better for you and the people you love.

‘You and Martin may say what you like,’ said Jack, ‘but there are two ends to every pudding.’
‘I should be the last to deny it,’ said Stephen. ‘If a pudding starts, clearly it must end; the human mind is incapable of grasping infinity, and an endless pudding passes our conception.’

The Ionian Mission, Patrick O’Brian (via lessthansix)

elodieunderglass:

captaintinymite:

drabblemeister:

OKAY
I have been meaning to do this for MONTHS but hey, there’s no better time than the present so buckle up, here we go!

THESE BOOKS ARE A GODSEND.

I am ALWAYS on the lookout for writing aids that ACTUALLY HELP. If you’re like me, and occasionally venture out to buy books on, let’s say, showing vs telling – you will always get the same rehearsed speeches on what that means. -summons pretentious writer’s voice- You’ve got to shoooooow what’s happening in the scene, not teeeeeeell~~ BAH! What you NEVER get, however, is how to do it, or how do it better.

THESE BOOKS ARE THE STUFF OF DREAMS

Each of these is so freaking helpful, I can’t even convey. They all follow the same format as the pictures I’ve shown above, so you get one detailed page of descriptions followed by tons of more in-depth, thought provoking concepts.

I’ll do my best to lay out the five that I have and if you are interested, hop on over to Amazon and buy these suckers up because they are AMAZING; I have NEVER used a writing resource more than I use these.

Negative Trait Thesaurus & Positive Trait Thesaurus
-gives you a definition of said negative trait
-gives you similar flaws also found in the book
-gives you possible causes of WHY the character might have this trait
-gives you a list of other behaviors the chara might have
-gives you examples of the chara’s thought process
-gives associated emotions
-gives positive aspects of the trait, as well as negative
-gives examples of well known chara’s that have this trait
-talks about how the chara might overcome it
-gives traits that, when combined with this one, might cause conflict
How I use this information:
Chara building, or when I get stuck on what I want a character to do. Man, I just can’t decide what they WOULD do. Well, awesome, I have a little guide to help me think through the character’s possible motivations. Also, I get help building a potential backstory because I get a framework of which to think, why is the character this way?

Urban Setting Thesaurus & Rural Setting Thesaurus
-gives a whole lot of examples of sights, smells, tastes, and sounds
-gives examples of textures and sensations (ie at an ‘antique shop’ you may encounter chipped paint, distressed wood, etc)
-gives you possible sources of conflict (ie at a ‘hotel’ you might have noisy neighbors)
-gives list of people you might expect to find at said location
-gives related settings
-gives tips on this type of setting
-gives a setting description example
How I use this information: IMAGERY IMAGERY IMAGERY

Emotion Thesaurus (aka MY FAVORITE)
-gives a definition of the emotion
-gives physical signs and signals (ie chara may look pale, might fidget, etc)
-gives internal sensations (aka, blood pounding in the ears, dry throat, adrenaline rush)
-gives mental responses (ie fight or flight)
-gives cues of acute or long-term impacts of the emotion
-gives ‘may escalate to _______’ and directs you to other emotions
-gives cues of suppression (ie cues of suppressed rage)
-gives writer tips
How I use this information: I love this book so hardcore, it’s so helpful with internalizing. It’s great because I get to step outside of that box of using the same five responses to a certain emotion and start really thinking about, what can a character do instead to show that they are feeling this, rather than me using adverbs or his adrenaline pumped fifty gazillion times.

These books are all co-written by Angela Ackerman and Becca Puglisi (bless their souls) and if this sounds of interest LOOK INTO IT!! I get such buyer’s regret after buying writing guides but these are legit the best ones I have found and I reference them so, so, so much.

Hope this helps anyone out there looking for something life-changing!!

I have these books and the emotion thesaurus is my favorite writing aid.

These definitely seem like handbooks on How To Human, Generally!